I’m not worthy…

Today, three days before Christmas, I feel a lot like Wayne and Garth from the 1992 comedy Wayne’s World.

Basement dwelling slacker buddies Wayne and Garth host a local access cable TV show spewing silliness about heavy metal music.  An invitation to hang out with “rock god” Alice Cooper has them dropping to their knees and bowing reverently while chanting “We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!”

Not worthy is exactly how I feel at this moment after a particularly humbling morning perusing Facebook and Pinterest pages.

It seems as if I am the only blogger in the world whose home isn’t festooned to the hilt with Christmas decor. Not only is everyone else’s house decorated from top to bottom, but the decorations are mostly hand-made. Crafty DIY’ers have pulled out all the stops this year with rolls of burlap and glue guns blazing. They have reused, repurposed, refurbished, and reimagined everything from styrofoam cups and twigs to yards of burlap into stylish holiday decor.

There are blog parties featuring homes whose decor rivals that of Macy’s and Nordstrom.  Some have a theme that starts at the front door and ends at the back door. They have garlands of fresh evergreens casually tied with calico ribbons. Home made candles glow on the mantle where glittered, hand printed stockings hang. And oh, the Christmas trees. Not one, but one for every room, each with a coherent theme.  Steam locomotives drive a train around the base of the giant silvertip in the gathering room. Wrapping paper is hand stamped parchment with inks made of beet juice and kale water.

In the kitchen and dining room, shelves and cabinets are stripped of the necessary clutter and adorned with holiday versions. Porcelain Santa and Mrs. Claus salt and pepper shakers replace the usual Morton and McCormick versions. In the hutch, doors and drawers are slightly ajar with Christmas linens peeking out, as if they are in use. Little white lights twinkle through glass doors illuminating the Spode Christmas China.  Fingertip towels with Christmas bows hang in the powder room, ready for holiday guests.

The festivity spills from the house onto the front porch with prancing reindeer made from bent twigs. Settees and porch swings are rendered unusable with mountains handmade pillows adorned with real evergreen sprigs tied with gold ribbon. Hand knotted rugs in green and red replace the rubber doormat. Wipe your shoes in the car please.

So, I’m not worthy. I’m not worthy. I still have the same pillows on the porch furniture I made for the fourth of July. My porch is aglow with faded red, white and blue. My deck railing is devoid of Christmas lights and there is no wreath on the front door. Bins of Christmas decorations are tucked away in the basement, ready for next year. I couldn’t find my hot glue gun if I had a real gun put to my head.

I have a Christmas tree. It was decorated in one hour with twinkle lights, hand tied rope bows, photos of grandkids, and homemade gingerbread cookies. Two hours later it fell over in heap on the floor, spewing two gallons of water onto the carpet.

The following day, with a new $40 tree stand and two hours of determination, I put it back up, this time with a few red lights. There is no handmade skirt to hide the stand.

Some of the gingerbread boys and girls are missing limbs.

But it still has holds the things that really matter.

We’ve had a rough year. Relationships that should withstand the test of time, have sadly changed. Illness and infirmity have tested our merit. We (I) have had to come to grips with the realization that I can’t do the things I have always done.

Michael was diagnosed with cancer and went through treatment. Like I said, it’s been a rough year.

Since the beginning of time, when one year ends another begins. The new year brings with it hope and promise. We still have a lot of challenges in the coming year, but we also have a fresh start. There is time to work on relationships, fix what’s broken, heal and renew. There’s also plenty of time to find my glue gun and be “worthy” next Christmas.

So for now, we will appreciate what we have, enjoy our Christmas tree, and spend time with family and friends. We’ll cook and eat and blog. It isn’t always about how many decorations you have, it’s about how bright they shine.

Happy holidays to you and yours, and as always we thank you for visiting the Egg Farm. Your visits help buy a coffee at Starbucks every once and awhile!